I am sure those that have raised or who are raising children, know how challenging & demanding this responsibility & experience can be.
Dancing between the intensity of the most profound unconditional love to moments of stress, frustration & exhaustion.
I meet many couples that like others even without children are highly stressed barely coping with the day-to-day demands & pressures, let alone being absolutely exhausted with the role of parenting.
Therefore, this is why I choose to write this article, to offer some support !
When I reflect back to the time I was raising my children, I ask myself – How could I have done it differently?
Wow ! Too many things come to mind.
Of course we are all going to say that at some stage through out our life – about a certain experience or two that we have moved through.
Admittedly I was quite young when I became a parent, I was married at the age of 16 & had given birth to my daughter & my son by the age of 19.
Due to the situation & circumstances I was faced with which prevented me to get a good start in my role as a parent, I was already stressed & carrying a lot of pain & trauma.
I was young, frightened, naïve & unconsciously raising my children.
I was super challenged & what I was faced to deal with had ripped me apart while I was trying to raise the 2 most precious souls that came through me.
I was responsible for their lives, safety & wellbeing,
I was responsible for Loving them into life!
Don’t get me wrong my children who are now adults are absolutely amazing, but I know I did damage.
If I was a Conscious parent I could have given them a healthier foundation.. – without a doubt.
Those that knew me, knew I was like a Lioness when it came to my cubs. I had the strength of a lion to protect them, but I was still carrying the pain & trauma of the events & experiences-that I embodied in my heart & in my psyche that were impacting them. I raised them with fear upon fear due to events I had experienced or witnessed.
I was so in love with them,so much so it was borderline obsession, yet due to my stresses & challenges that consumed me – I was not able to give them the fruits of that love.
I didn’t have the ability at that age & awareness to know the importance of the real fundamental years of growth for my children, besides of course the basics for survival.
Through the developmental stages from within the womb through the nourishing, learning & developing years children are tuning in to their parents & their environment – absorbing everything from what is said, how it is said to how their parents are feeling & behaving.
Our children are determining their worth & their place in the world by how they are treated & supported .
What if raising your children consciously gave them a greater start to life?
What if there could be fewer regrets in this life & profound enjoyment of what we are here to experience?
What if we were able to find a healthy balance & fulfilment for all in our family units?
What if we were able to recognise our emotions & reactions when triggered & avoid projecting onto our children or those we love?
I have witnessed a lot of parents emotionally & mentally stressed & are impacting their children in quite a damaging way.
I am not saying that we can’t make mistakes during parenting, of course we will, we are learning as we go as well.
The point I am making is if there is emotional & mental stress & tension that we carry & we are not taking responsibility, this can be projected onto the children without realising. They are too precious & innocent to carry it for You.
Absorbing the dynamic between their parents regarding Love, intimacy & respect.
First impressions of what love between man & woman looks like – what model are you setting?
We need to take responsibility for how our current stresses are impacting our emotional & mental wellbeing.
Taking a step out of our challenges & take time out to clear unresolved emotions & stress is crucial for our psychological state, our wellbeing & the wellbeing of those we love.
Trapped emotions, stress & strain over burden all systems of the body.Eventually illness & dis ease is commonly developed when these issues are ignored.
Don’t ignore something that can be prevented.
Are you feeling exhausted emotionally, mentally & physically?
Are you needing support?
Are you alone without support?
Are you a single parent whether mum or dad, just feeling overwhelmed by it all?
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